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Over the last 20 years in the bail bond industry, I’ve seen clients put through the wringer. I’ve watched them navigate unpredictable twists and turns, often falling into financial traps, like the shakedowns that frequently occur at sentencing. The government’s pursuit of money tends to drag edge cases right to the forefront. |
This issue is about how to outwit the nitwits trying to steal your money. |
THE ABSURDITY OF SENTENCING FEES |
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Let’s start with a perfect example of a government booby trap: the Internet Crimes Against Children (ICAC) fee. |
It had become commonplace for the ICAC fee to be assessed on plea forms for charges that had absolutely nothing to do with internet crimes against children—like habitual drunk driving. Common sense should dictate that a DUI has zero link to internet crimes, yet it took an Intermediate Court of Appeals (ICA) ruling to stop this blanket fee from being applied to everyone. |
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I’m writing about this because earlier this month, I flew to Maui and sat in a courtroom. I watched a newly appointed judge almost assess this exact fee until a Public Defender pointed out that it was not applicable. Luckily, I was sitting right next to Maui-born appellate attorney Benjamin Lowenthal, who knew all about the case and had already written a blog on the issue last year. Yet, here we are in 2026, still having to clarify a resolved issue. |
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The takeaway: The government will try to charge you fees as a default position, either out of ignorance or by using outdated forms. I am all for compensating victims of a crime, but you have to be vigilant in regards to extraneous fees. |
THE CIVIL VULTURES AND THE TARGET ON YOUR BACK |
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Now, let's talk about the hill I am prepared to die on: the utter stupidity of posting large cash bail. |
I don't say this just to sell you a bail bond; I’ll lay out the case as a fiduciary, and you can make your own decision. I have a career spanning over two decades of watching clients get financially destroyed as a result of telegraphing their net worth; and you?! |
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A few years ago, I bailed out a client accused of murder. After he was proven guilty, the civil vultures and parasites descended. They didn't just attack the defendant; they formed a hui (a multi-party entity) of nearly a dozen interlopers—beneficiaries, associates, and victims—claiming they were owed civil compensation. |
And who did they target? Not solely the defendant, but unscrupulously, the defendant's wife. |
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What next? Want to sue the family dog to also collect emotional support?! |
My client's wife wasn't a high-profile co-defendant like Louis and Katherine Kealoha, nor did she ever take the stand in the criminal case. Yet, under the outdated "Doctrine of Spousal Unity," a husband and wife are viewed by predatory plaintiffs as a single legal entity. This backward line of logic allows civil interlopers to argue that any assets tied to the marriage—including individual or joint cash, real property, and even a shared homeowner's insurance policy—are fair game in a secondary civil lawsuit. |
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Big insurance companies eat these frivolous lawsuits for lunch. They have the lawyers and the written policies to squash a claim or bleed a complainant out over time. But a regular wife, who doesn't work and is simply tied to a defendant through marriage, doesn't have the same battle-tested grit. |
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This is what happens when you telegraph your wealth. For example, if you post $100,000 in full cash bail, you are telling every litigious civil attorney out there exactly how much liquid cash you have. They will search eCourt Kokua, check property records, and find a way to drain you. |
JAIL MAIL’S GOLDEN RULES FOR ASSET PROTECTION |
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To survive the criminal justice and civil lawsuit game, you need to follow these tried-and-true principles: |
- Assess the Risk by the Bail Amount: If your bail is only $500 for a DUI, post the cash. If they take fees out of it, who cares? It’s a cheap financial lesson. But if you make the mistake of posting $500,000 in cash, be prepared to lose far more to sentencing fees and civil vultures.
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- Consult with a financial crimes expert like attorney Addison Bonner or Myles Breiner. I’ve had two clients recently who were both incredibly impressed with their forensic accounting skills. Make no mistake, this is lawfare—and you better lawyer up and fight to protect your assets. Mr. Breiner is always up for a battle, and Mr. Bonner has handled high-level civil and criminal matters at the federal level. If you want to safeguard what you've earned, these are two powerhouse names to start with.
- The Frank Fernandez Rule: If you are an attorney, do not put your license in jeopardy by acting as both legal counsel and the surety in the same case. Frank Fernandez mixed his legal practice with his bail agency, commingled funds, and became the only attorney in Hawaii history to be disbarred twice and lose a bail license.
- Keep Your Name Off the Cash: If you absolutely must post cash bail, never do it in the defendant's name or their spouse's name. Use a true third party. Tying it to the marital union is too close of a call.
- Always Object to Unrelated Fees: As demonstrated by the ICAC fee, never blindly accept fees that have no direct relationship to your charge. Don't get suckered by default court forms.
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Lawyer up, obfuscate any and all financial ties to a defendant, and be ready to protect the assets you earned from vengeful complainants that don't end at criminal punishment, but often times bleed into secondary civil suits. |
I really don't care if you post cash or protection via a bail bond. I just hate to see spouses, family members, or trusts under attack from claims that would have no legal standing with the strategies I've laid out in this newsletter. I vigorously object when criminal justice isn't enough, and victims demand vengeance. They ignore the assetless perpetrators and exclusively sue hardworking people of means who actually have something to lose. |
There is no moral victory in pontificating on how messed up a civil suit against a spouse is after a criminal conviction; the real victory is protecting your assets like OJ Simpson did, who famously didn't pay a penny to the Goldberg family during his lifetime, despite a $33.5 million judgment. |
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Protect your assets folks; you’ve worked too hard to gift wrap them to opportunistic interlopers. |
-Jail Mail Nick |
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What did you think of today's issue of JAIL MAIL |
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